Polygamy - a solution for some.

Polygamy - To most Americans the word brings to mind images of a repressed group of women living in subjugation and exploitation, while a single man wallows in the attention - sexual and otherwise - of his numerous adoring females. However, there are those who disagree, quite adamantly with this simplistic view. An article by journalist Elizabeth Joseph, herself one of several wives to a single man, outlines some legitimate reasons why "plural marriages" can make sense - and enforce stability - in our contemporary culture. Read her paper, Polygamy - the ultimate feminist lifestyle, with an open mind. How would a polygamous situation affect sex within a marriage? Let's say the idea of sexual jealousy is removed; it would seem the effect could be positive, wouldn't it...Objectively...in some ways? Any thoughts would be welcome. For more pro-polygamy arguments...Some right on the mark, others, somewhat "out there"... have a look at polygamy.com .

October 1, - In response to this post, one of my readers, the always astute Cathleen Farr, sent me this very informative position paper she wrote on the subject of Polygamy. It presents the history and practical reasons for Polygamy as well as the cultural taboos against it. It's ultra objective and you'll certainly gain a better understanding of Polygamy by reading it.

Polygamy: Two is Company, Three’s Allowed?
By
Cathleen Farr

There was a young fellow from Lyme,
Who had three wives at one time,
When asked “Why the third?”
He said, “Ones absurd, and bigamy sir, is a crime!”

Though practiced secretly by some, polygamy - or the state of having two or more spouses at one time - is illegal and relatively rare in the United States. We in America live in a monogamous society where people are forbidden by law from having multiple spouses concurrently. Polygamy is however a legal and widely accepted lifestyle in a number of countries throughout the world. The Muslim religion, prevalent in the Middle East, allows polygamy. In many parts of Africa, even among practicing Christians, polygamy is condoned. In numerous other societies it is, or has been at some point, customary. How do these arrangements work? Why would someone opt for such a lifestyle? The reasons are varied and not always simple. To begin to understand, one must look at the definition of polygamy and how it has evolved.

Polygamy can take one of two forms, the most common of which is polygyny, the marriage of a man to more than one woman. Since polygynous marriages were referred to as polygamy in early Mormon society, where it was practiced for a period, polygamy has often been confused with polygyny, especially in the United States. The other form of polygamy is polyandry; here the emphasis is on a woman deciding to take two or more husbands. This is by far the rarer form of polygamy. Few societies sanction it - among those who do are the Toda and the Nayer in southern India and a number of Tibetan groups as well as some Amazonian Indian tribes.

One reason often used to explain the existence of polygamy is that it absorbs an excess of marriageable individuals in a situation where the ratio of one sex to another is unbalanced. Polygyny has occurred often in the aftermath of wars where numerous men have been killed. A recent example of this occurred in Kuwait following the First Gulf War. Islam, the predominant religion there, permits a man to have up to four wives, provided they are treated equally. In the seventies and early eighties an increasingly westernized population began to interpret this as an impossibility and polygyny was actually banned in some Middle Eastern countries and looked down upon in Kuwait and many other countries. However, after the Gulf War and with a growth of Muslim fundamentalism, polygyny has seen a resurgence. Muslim clerics and Kuwaiti government officials are now preaching that it is a man’s duty to have plural wives in order to protect the women of the society who have become war widows. A similar situation is cited as the reason for polygamy in the early Mormon Church. When Joseph Smith -- the founder of the Mormon religion -- took the movement out west in the early 1800’s, the hardship of life on the frontier claimed the lives of many of the group’s men. By the time the Mormons settled in Utah there was a surplus of women. In order to ensure that all Mormon women had the opportunity to marry a Mormon man and to increase the population of Mormons, Joseph Smith claimed to have had a divine revelation in which he was told by God to encourage polygamy to solve this problem. Within a couple of generations the population was again balanced and the practice was outlawed by the Mormon Church.


Though illegal in the western world, there are a number of individuals who practice polygyny in the United States and other developed countries. Many do so under the guise of religion, specifically the Mormon religion and a movement called Paternal Christianity. In general these people claim to interpret the Bible as allowing polygyny - following from the fact that men should be the heads of the household and women should support and serve the men. They suggest that it strengthens the position of women by allowing those who wish to have a career and a family the ability to do so without having to resort to day care. A search on the World Wide Web will point to numerous sites portraying seemingly happy polygynous families. Most of these sites include testimony from apparently content polygynous wives singing the praises of built in childcare, help with household chores and even wifely duties that these arrangements bring. A recently established movement called the Promise Keepers is gaining wide popularity among conservative Christians and is frequently evoked by advocates of polygyny. Though they don’t specifically advocate polygamy the Promise Keepers are Paternal Christians and give an air of legitimacy to rouge groups of polygynists. After visiting these sites and numerous others -- even one which offered matrimonial adds to people interested in these types of relationships -- one could almost believe that polygyny could catch on in the United States.

Polyandry occurs for different reasons. One is economical. In many developing countries marriage is very expensive. The poor in these societies sometimes find it economical to share a wife. Another reason is that it can be a device for the conservation of inheritance, particularly land. This applies to fraternal polyandry, the most common form, where the eldest brother in a family will marry a woman and subsequent younger brothers will marry her too. On the death of the father of the family, each son gets a stake in the family property rather than having it subdivided until the holdings are insignificant. Parentage of children born of polyandrous unions is defined by custom. In some societies where fraternal polyandry is practiced, the eldest brother is automatically considered the father of the first child, the next oldest, the father of the second and so on. In other groups the wife is allowed to name the father of each child. No one husband has exclusive sexual rights to the wife. In most societies the first husband has priority and later husbands must obtain his consent for sexual relations with the common wife.

Polyandry is non-existent in America and the western world and is practiced only in the most primitive societies. The very same religious individuals in the U.S. who advocate polygyny, abhor polyandry as lustful, disgusting and sinful. Our society has evolved with a family structure where the man traditionally supported the family financially while the woman looked after the household and took care of his needs. Few women would relish the idea of multiple husbands to look after even if it did add to the family income. Even among the poorest in the western world there is no need to share the expense of childbirth or day to day living because there is a social welfare system in place to provide support in these situations. It is doubtful that polyandry will gain popular support in the west any time soon.

Monogamy is the preferred married life style in the United States. We have been raised to see something of value in the exclusivity of monogamous matrimony and would not relish sharing our spouses and hence our power within the marriage. The legal systems in the western world are not at the moment equipped to handle issues such as inheritance and custody as they would be applied to polygamist unions. Therefore, polygamy will no doubt remain a marginal lifestyle in the west while continuing to exist and in some cases flourish in other parts of the world.